NO EXPLAINATION

I spotted this guy during the first two days of orientation during lower six.I made up mind to know him more so I added him and took initiative to talk to him.As days passed we became quite close and closer when we were in the same class.He used to my driver, fetch me everywhere as long as I requested.We teased each another, we laughed together, we cried together and we party together. Really had a great great time with him.Feel so comfortable until I did not think of any more than this kind of situation and I know very well that he wont like me so we remained as a very best friend.Six months later he was in relationship with another girl ( I just felt a bit weird whenever he fetching his gf but not really that bad feeling and i get used to that kind of feeling as days passed).Few months later, he broke up with her.I didn't feel happy but I'm sad because he saw how suffer he was and I cant help.That moments onwards he changed.He no longer that talkative and I active.I tried my best to help him out from this sorrow but I think I failed.Around July'12, he said something and I decided to unfriend him.Me and my friend,xiaotong were actually waiting for his apologise but he never so from the 3 of us become 2 of us.Even though I told my friends I very hate and I dont care of him anymore but I care every single things that he did.Wait and wait but he still didn't take any action and this lasted for half year until CNY 2013.He took the initiative and talked to me, I was still angry but I decided to give our friendship one more chance.Once again, we back to as close as before.We party,we travel,we sing and we scream.I fall to him without reason and it was so worst that i get jealous easily.The most terrible feeling was the moment he left Ipoh to further his study.*Note: I don't go Kl study because of him or anyone else but my own future.I confessed to him before he left.He told me that during lower six he did had special feeling to me but he cant sense that I like him so he didn't say out.I was like 'we missed the chance' but it didnt help because we remain as best friends.He don't really update me after he started his uni life.Even im having dilemma on to go local or private uni, he just didnt care or border by asking how do I do.That moments onwards, I told myself not to think of this man anymore.He is a good friend but not good boyfriend.I told myself to just STOP it.I didnt text him for one month time but everyday i check his wechat,moment to know how his life going.I control myself from mentioning him.All these work pretty good until I met him.We went to bintang walk, we talked a lot and maybe the feeling never gone so it comes back easily.He told me he cant let go of his ex, although i feel bad but i encouraged him to court her so that he has no regret because he just cant accept a new relationship since she is the only one for him.During the hangout, we were just as last time, beat him,laught and tease until one moment where I was behind of him.His walking shadow made me feel that no matter how I wont have a place in his heart.The most crucial part was in the monorail.It was damn pack and I have no choice but grabbed his shirt for my balancing purposely and again i feel bad 'i can grab his things physically but not his heart'. No matter how hard, no matter how close we are he just don't realize my existance because his heart fulfilled by her.Is time to move on. The song 'someone like you' just suit my feeling right now.


Moral value : when things dont mean to be yours, it wont be yours no matter how.

EMOTION

Human's emotion is the hardest thing to control.I purposely back school just to attend the first talk for leap program.Can you see the first 'e' that i have colected?The talk was about  recruitment and this eventually touched my weakness point.This remind me how my life was when I worked as an account clerk(being bullied,blame and look down) and same goes to my dancing memories (being discriminate bcs of my body size and family wealth).My life never come with an 'easy' word.How about you? Anyway, past means over,the end.Life still goes on, my life shouldnt stop here just because of those bitches.Lets come to the happy one, I got the book shown in the picture  

for free just by asking question during the talk.hehe.btw, my latin dancing class gonna start.next monday..weeee

Morale value : everyone has their own stories but the matter is do know how to walk out from your own shadow?

NEW LEAF AGAIN.

Hey guys, is 1st of October!!! I knoww, it maybe dont bring any other meaning to some of you but it does to me. Today will be the day I stop missing him and putting fake hope in that complicated relationship.Its all over and we shall remain as close friend.I think thats more than enough.Isnt?Okay, I had TITAS class just now and we formed into groups for presentation.Seriously, I have no idea why the government made the Civilisation subject as compulsory.I will see what I changed to after staying near to that subject.Hopefully I dont fail that paper.oh God, make it or screw it I have to sit for exam on 21st October.Its like 20 days away.I should get my ass off and study seriously.Thats all for today.=)

Morale value: stay positive because everything has an end.hwaiting!

ANOTHER CHAPTER OF MY LIFE.

Yo readers! It has been months that i did not touch my blog.Miss blogging so much but due to the lack of internet coverage matter, its not so convenient to online.I'm not going to talk more about previous incidents because its too long so maybe just a short one will do.I got finance course at UUM,kedah in my second appeal for UPU but I decided to take ACCA in sunway,kl. The reason why I made this decision is because I want something more than just a degree cert. It actually took me a few sleepless nights and imbalance emotion to decide. THANKS A LOT TO AH JIE, JYAN, XTONG, JEFFREY AND DEFINITELY MY PARENTS AND SISTERS. They were the one who gave me confidence and encouragement to pursue my dream. I appreciate them very very much, they helped me when I was in a very critical dilemma situation. YOU GUYS JUST AWESOME!!!
Okay.I have attended about 2 classes at this moment, there were about 22 of us in a class.My classmates are either age 19 or 20.They are nice people but we are still like strangers, maybe still new.Hoping for better connection in future.Roughly I only have 3 school days in a week and library is my second home.Its kinda boring actually but have to. Its great that I met Choonhui and Yoongchoong over there, at least we are from the same hometown. In short - INDEPENDENT LIFE.

Morale value = You wont mind to sacrifice for something you want the most. Fight for your dream no                            matter how! =)

SUMMARY OF MY 20th BIRTHDAY

Wow! This gonna be a long long post.So,are you ready? (sounds so lame).Anyway,here we go.Weee..
As planned I am suppose to back Ipoh to take my HPV injection on 29th May and yumcha with my gang at night.It was kind of weird when Tomato told me to dress nicer even just a normal gathering and it was even more obvious when I saw the way they dressed up so started to suspicious but I only thought they will be celebrating my birthday in some place like bistro or restaurant (as usual la) but not in a HOTEL (walao weh, can u imagine?I am just an ordinary girl but I'm getting such special celebration)They blind fold me and took me the room.The room was so sweet because they decorated it with balloons & card board with my name and picture on it.They had put in effort in every single corner of the room.Dont you think they are gorgeous?Overall I like the party very very much because it was so special for me and most important everyone enjoyed the night.I was so touched too.Once again,I would to thank to all of you : Tomato,Xtong,Potato,Mushroom,Eric,Kinlap,Karhoe,KChie and CYao.(Gamshamida for giving me such a memorable and unforgettable night,no words can describe the night because it was too great)..IT WAS AWESOME TO HAVE YOU GUYS AS MY FRIENDS!Here are some pictures:

Next,I actually took leave on my birthday in order to avoid any incident happen in my office that will ruin my mood.As planned,I went to Bintang Walk for half of the day.Although I was alone but I actually enjoyed the day because I not only went to shopping but also explore as a tourist.Yea,I bought cheap cheap clothes from Cotton On,it was having sale so most of the top only RM15 (so so cheap right?) Do you believe in love at first sight? I fell in love with a dress which costed me RM49,its like a little bit not worth but I LIKE it so no choice.

 

I put on my favourite dress for the night.My sisters and brothers in law actually promised to bring me to the place which I wished to go for so long so I'm kind of excited (look out point), unfortunately the restaurants over there all closed up (no longer there) so I only get the chance the to enjoy the view for some minutes but not as I thought that will be having meal over there.

Since the time was getting late,we decided to have our dinner/supper at Victoria Station ( a western restaurant). I would say it is an awesome place for candle light dinner.Full of antique feel over there and you will see a train track inside it and u can request to have ur table inside the train,is more romantic to have your meal inside there especially for couples.

Last but not least,my forth sis actually celebrated my birthday during the midnight of 13/06/2013 which means the very morning of 14/06/2013. Besides, I would like to thank my friends who wished me at facebook or through SMS.

A millions of thank to my family and friends who made my day so happening.Thanks for all of your efforts.It was a precious 20th birthday celebration.Love it so so much! 

PLEASE MIND UR WORDS

I have never ever feel like F***ing any of my friends before until yesterday's incident.I have no idea why he could said those words which so SHIT.Research and understanding are very important before starting with any investment or business.I have confident that most of the people will agree me.It was regarding a kind of investment which is forex (currency).How many of us really know how it works? You telling me that u going to invest 5k to 10k on it without doing any survey?Are you crazy or insane?This was not the part that it made me so pissed off.My fire was up when he said that at the age of 20 we should have the guts to put 10k on an investment if not you are such a failure (indirectly telling that im not brave/ failure).Besides, he even said 10k is a small amount to lose and just act as a lesson. 10k is so helpful for those families which cant afford for a single meal.Do you know what are you saying? Dont you think you're abit arrogant when you said such words?I have no idea why you have changed to this.No doubts that ur money might come easy as compared to us but if you compare with people out there,you're just nothing when some people can earn 3k and above per day.Do you still think that you qualified to say such words?I totally disappointed with your behaviour 'throw money to people'.Wish you good luck!

NOTHING IS PERFECT.

I am so sorry that I have actually neglected my blog for months.Is not that I'm too busy but I'm LAZY.Please forgive me.To be franked, I don't feel good right now.I thought STPM result day will be the worst day ever and the days after that will be better but things don't go the way I thought.My pointer isn't that good nor bad (average) so I have never thought of applying those universities which located at Terengganu,Sabah,Sarawak etc until yesterday I met my tuition teacher and she well recommend me to apply those universities because my chances of getting accountancy course will be higher.I totally agree with her words and I understand the situation very well,just that I cant accept that at once. I am scare and worry about my life at there.I might be the only acs-ian who furthering study at there.I mean I don't like to be the only chinese at there since those universities are considered as in islamic state ( I'm not racist but ....). My mum totally disagree me of choosing Terengganu's uni after I have told her and I cant tell her that I don't wish to go too because this will make her feel more worst.What I did just hide in the room and cried for my sorrow.I HAVE NO CHOICE BECAUSE I CANT LET GO OFF ACCOUNTANCY AND THATS THE ONLY SOLUTION TO MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE.I will be applying it soon and I'll put Terengganu's universities.The rest I'll pass to my GOD to decide for me.Whether to be selected or not,I'll accept and proceed.Maybe I have judged it for too early but no matter how I'm gonna make full use of the 4 years to pursue my dream. SACRIFICATION (in order to have accountancy course, I have to sacrifice the university's location)
Surfer for the 4 years and have a good life for the rest of my life.It sounds so worthy!