NO EXPLAINATION

I spotted this guy during the first two days of orientation during lower six.I made up mind to know him more so I added him and took initiative to talk to him.As days passed we became quite close and closer when we were in the same class.He used to my driver, fetch me everywhere as long as I requested.We teased each another, we laughed together, we cried together and we party together. Really had a great great time with him.Feel so comfortable until I did not think of any more than this kind of situation and I know very well that he wont like me so we remained as a very best friend.Six months later he was in relationship with another girl ( I just felt a bit weird whenever he fetching his gf but not really that bad feeling and i get used to that kind of feeling as days passed).Few months later, he broke up with her.I didn't feel happy but I'm sad because he saw how suffer he was and I cant help.That moments onwards he changed.He no longer that talkative and I active.I tried my best to help him out from this sorrow but I think I failed.Around July'12, he said something and I decided to unfriend him.Me and my friend,xiaotong were actually waiting for his apologise but he never so from the 3 of us become 2 of us.Even though I told my friends I very hate and I dont care of him anymore but I care every single things that he did.Wait and wait but he still didn't take any action and this lasted for half year until CNY 2013.He took the initiative and talked to me, I was still angry but I decided to give our friendship one more chance.Once again, we back to as close as before.We party,we travel,we sing and we scream.I fall to him without reason and it was so worst that i get jealous easily.The most terrible feeling was the moment he left Ipoh to further his study.*Note: I don't go Kl study because of him or anyone else but my own future.I confessed to him before he left.He told me that during lower six he did had special feeling to me but he cant sense that I like him so he didn't say out.I was like 'we missed the chance' but it didnt help because we remain as best friends.He don't really update me after he started his uni life.Even im having dilemma on to go local or private uni, he just didnt care or border by asking how do I do.That moments onwards, I told myself not to think of this man anymore.He is a good friend but not good boyfriend.I told myself to just STOP it.I didnt text him for one month time but everyday i check his wechat,moment to know how his life going.I control myself from mentioning him.All these work pretty good until I met him.We went to bintang walk, we talked a lot and maybe the feeling never gone so it comes back easily.He told me he cant let go of his ex, although i feel bad but i encouraged him to court her so that he has no regret because he just cant accept a new relationship since she is the only one for him.During the hangout, we were just as last time, beat him,laught and tease until one moment where I was behind of him.His walking shadow made me feel that no matter how I wont have a place in his heart.The most crucial part was in the monorail.It was damn pack and I have no choice but grabbed his shirt for my balancing purposely and again i feel bad 'i can grab his things physically but not his heart'. No matter how hard, no matter how close we are he just don't realize my existance because his heart fulfilled by her.Is time to move on. The song 'someone like you' just suit my feeling right now.


Moral value : when things dont mean to be yours, it wont be yours no matter how.

EMOTION

Human's emotion is the hardest thing to control.I purposely back school just to attend the first talk for leap program.Can you see the first 'e' that i have colected?The talk was about  recruitment and this eventually touched my weakness point.This remind me how my life was when I worked as an account clerk(being bullied,blame and look down) and same goes to my dancing memories (being discriminate bcs of my body size and family wealth).My life never come with an 'easy' word.How about you? Anyway, past means over,the end.Life still goes on, my life shouldnt stop here just because of those bitches.Lets come to the happy one, I got the book shown in the picture  

for free just by asking question during the talk.hehe.btw, my latin dancing class gonna start.next monday..weeee

Morale value : everyone has their own stories but the matter is do know how to walk out from your own shadow?

NEW LEAF AGAIN.

Hey guys, is 1st of October!!! I knoww, it maybe dont bring any other meaning to some of you but it does to me. Today will be the day I stop missing him and putting fake hope in that complicated relationship.Its all over and we shall remain as close friend.I think thats more than enough.Isnt?Okay, I had TITAS class just now and we formed into groups for presentation.Seriously, I have no idea why the government made the Civilisation subject as compulsory.I will see what I changed to after staying near to that subject.Hopefully I dont fail that paper.oh God, make it or screw it I have to sit for exam on 21st October.Its like 20 days away.I should get my ass off and study seriously.Thats all for today.=)

Morale value: stay positive because everything has an end.hwaiting!